No variation in love
He is ever true.
I’ve written daily, sometimes multiple times in one day.
Until a couple of months ago.
A family member read something I wrote.
Panic ensued. Demands for an answer were made.
I felt cornered, trying to explain myself, that this is what I, as a writer, am compelled to do.
To allow my heart to bleed across the pages, oftentimes revealing the most painful and harsh thoughts. Letting them escape my mind and body in a way that relieves me of the pressure that builds within. A release that ensures that thoughts will never come to action.
But it has almost stopped me in my tracks. I begin to write the realities and truth of what I am feeling. And stop.
I am struggling because I want to write, I need to write… but I can’t write without honesty.
How do write again?
Your hands are coarse
with square tipped fingers
and clean, trimmed nails
Mine fit quite well
cupped inside curled
in a soft pliant ball
creates a resting place
for the nape of my neck
And I can breathe…
She has moved beyond believing.
that she is not enough.
that he will ever keep his word.
that it’s all her fault.
that her time has come and gone.
She is believing in the possibilities…
When a heart breaks
slivers of trust and hope
shatter across the floor…
making it impossible
for it’s host to ever truly
believe in another again…
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